I've left some things out in the hall of my new apartment building. I went into the hall and found my cloths strewn up and down the hall. I'm in a car with friends and again my stuff is strewn all over the car. I'm eating with a friend I've run into and as we leave, I walk under arms and through a tangle of people, pushing my way through. I disgusted by myself.
I'm at the concert without my dinner partner. I've forgotten my tickets. I search through my purse, which is stuffed with scraps of paper and Kleenex and crumbs. A different friend is meeting me there, which I've just remembered, and I have five minutes to go home and get the tickets. I know it will take me more than five minutes, but I turn and run for it anyway. Then I'm in a hospital. There's an elevator that has a table in front of the door. Now I'm pulling a suitcase as the door opens and I get in.
Inside there are shoes on the floor, a man's and a child's. There is a black plastic bag with something in it. I touch it. It is a child's body. I scream and scream and press against the wall. The door has already closed and the elevator is going like a train. I continue to scream. The train races faster and faster until it stops suddenly. I look out the window, it's tittering at the edge of a bluff. I don't know where I am or what to do about my situation. Then the train/elevator reverses and I'm in a seat riding backwards and it slows for a conductor outside the window standing in a sunny landscape. He is offering me things: vodka, and something else. I wave him away. The train goes again and slows again. The conductor is there offering me things: a tin crown, and other things. I wake crying.
Interpretation: My life is chaotic and changing with my divorce. I've been thrown into a new life that I'm having trouble sorting out. I have fear that I won't make it financially. The child in the elevator reminds me of the part of myself that split off as a child. And the last two symbols. Perhaps both are ways out: drinking and thinking I'm a queen. Both are like my mother. I want a different life. One that satisfies me creatively.
